Untitled Love //

TiReD is all i can Describe!!

Thursday, June 30, 2005

TiReD is all i can Describe!!...

i am so freaking tired now..my time seems quite upset since i start wrking haha..or maybe since these 2 wks..slping late adn waking early i also dun uds y haiz..super slpy nw haiz..poor me haha...

anyway nthing much happen everyday wrking in the evening.b4 and aft is slacking at hme using the com..dun even noe wat i'm doing..until 2 plus thn slp crazy me..haha..

but somehow no matter how tired i am i still forced myself to wrk haha..conclusion..its nt a very gd thing to leave hme in the evning to wrk haha..but its still an experience gain ba..this few days seem lyk there is piles of applications waiting to be cleared omg..headache..this 2 nites wat i am doing is always the day b4's applications..cant believe tht they couldnt clear fin also haiz..

my Dear Sis-cum-Darling bdae have jus past..or rather past very long liao haha..but her rubbish still at my place hehe...no choice diff to arrange timing wif her..hehe..

i guess thats abt it ba...woo..today is the last day of june leh..i've wrk for a mth haha..cool!! haha...okie i noe i am crazy hehe..cya guys ard..

11:00 AM
Y Y Y

~~~Miserable~~~

Monday, June 27, 2005

there is no way i can explain the pain i am going thru..whether is it a real pain..short term or long term..no ones noes..leave it as it is ba...

i hate this feeling..i haven felt this pain for so long..and it jus all happen in a sudden..practically i am unable to accept the fact tht is happening..its far to ridiculous...i dun uds how can i act dream of something and have such a strong feeling tht is true whn i woke up...and guess wat...whn i asked abt it..he told me its true although it happen in the past..

wth..how can such thing be happening to me...esp whn at the pt of time whn i really miss him so much..yes its in the past..but i jus cant believ tht it appear in MY dream and in reality they r tgt b4..and in the first y will i dream of this..wat topid thing is this..

this thing really create a very big impact on me..i dunno y also..i jus cant take it..i admit i do feel a little jealous..but tht is 2 diff case...if i noe it in reality and nt thru dream i can still accept lor..but nt in this way lor..

maybe u all tink i am jus making a big fuss over this..and maybe yes i am...but aft all how many ppl have experience this b4..i dun tink anyone i noe really have this kind of topid weird situation happening on them b4 lor..its really freaking me out..very...

all he tell me in the end is nt to tink abt it liao..and he mention tht its kind of funny and cute..he was surprised tht i dreamt of him..but he was even more surprised tht i dreamt of him adn the other ger..

nt to tink abt it..i dunno how am i going to do tht..seriously he always give me the feeling tht he is taking my things very lightly..and now..this kind of thing happen is it trying to convey something to me...i dunno i jus cant tink straight now...

1:30 AM
Y Y Y

I Miss U!!

Friday, June 24, 2005

I miss u...3 simple wrds..wif a simple meaning...but does ppl really mean it whn they say it out..i also dunno...

anyway recently i really miss someone..someone whom use to be very impt to me..someone who really capture my heart..but due to my foolishness...i act let him go..frm then on..situation have chg..i admit i do regret it..despite so many yrs have gone..but the feeling is jus there..and i also realise tht it is always hidden in the small corner of my heart..a place where i will always avoid looking into it..but this few days i jus dunno y..i feel tht i should let it out...

i always tell myself tht its time to look forward..since situation have chg there is no pt for me to look back and tink abt the stuffs tht have happen long time ago..aft all i guess all of us have chg..n i dun tink im still the type of ger he used to lyk..and i jus have this mentality tht there is no way tht i can chg the situation..there is once i couldnt tolerate anymore and i jus sms him and ask him..i thot he wont bother to reply..cos he took hrs to reply and in the end he mentioned something lyk i am someone special to him but thn nt to the extend of getting back..but how true is it...i dunno how to convince myself into believing this phrase (the phrase of someone special..nt the getting back part!!)...this is 1 big chg..i gt prob trusting him now..wateva he say i can still believe him..but whn it comes to this..i dunno y i jus dun have the ability to trust him totally...and seriously whn i saw tht msg..i was kind of stunned..and abit sad wif a mixture of happiness plus confusion...dunno hw to explain also...

till today he seems lyk another fren..who jus come in and out of mine life...we can dun sms, chat or meet up for a mth plus or so..i also dun uds y..and i dun tink will affect him also ba...for me..i only tell myself nt to let such stuffs to bother me too much..aft all..bothering so much he also wont noe..so jus carry on wif my life..which i manage to do it..its only whn i am super free thn my imagination will start to run abit wild..okie..nt tht wild..but at least he will appear..and its always at this time i always feel lyk smsing him and tell him how i feel..and its also the time whereby i dun have the courage to sms him..to me it sounds rather topid..cos i am the one who let him go and now i am the one who somehow still have tht feeling for him..even if u dun feel topid..i tink to him it muz be a joke ba..

sometimes i really wonder..if i nvr let him go..till today will the 2 of us still be tgt..r we able to strive thru all the obstacles bet us...i really always ponder on this qns..i dunno if u all eva thot abt it ant..abt u and ur ex..esp the one who have created such a great impact on ur life...anyway there is no way to get an ans also...unless u really have a chance to tok it out wif them..haiz..aft all foolish actions always cum wif foolish consequences..and its really foolish to ponder on such stuffs..this is how foolish i am..

i tink gers are always contradicting themselves..i dunno y..frm wat i hear frm my frenz..no matter wat u tink..there is always another reason/reasons tht leads u to another route of convincing urself haha...i guess thts jus gers..u may tink tht i am crazy over him..but i am nt lor..i jus feel tht i miss him & yes there is still a little feeling lyk i mention at the start..but i dunno the reason behind it..i dunno if its purely jus missing or is it bcos of other reasons tht lead me to missing him...but who noes...all i noe is tht i simply miss him..& i really miss the time whn 2 of us hang out tgt..

he doesnt noe abt this..or rather no one noes abt it..maybe some of u might be able to guess who i am saying..but thn i am going to jus keep it to myself..

i tink some of u might be quite surprise how come i will post this..aft all to most of u..i am quite happy-go-lucky ba..seldom let stuff lyk tht bother too much..but there is a limit ba..i jus hope tht aft writing this..i will be able to forget abt it ba..hopefully...

12:55 AM
Y Y Y

UnBeliVabLe tHiNg i hAd dOnE tOdAY!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

UnBeliVabLe tHiNg i hAd dOnE tOdAY!!!!!!!!

To: All my DaRlIngS...&..."FaNs!!"

None of u will expect me to do this crazy thing...i went for a haircut today..hehe..and guess wat...i have cut my hair short..hehe..dun be surprise..whn u see me..i also dunno how to describe to u..but jus dun freak out ba..hopefully it isnt thn unacceptable..haha...and hopefully i can manage to style it well whn i c u all the nxt time hehe...anyway..its nt very short also lah..but thn somehow my hair jus cant be tied up into a pony tail liao hehe..tht hw short it is ba hehe*wide smile*

looking forward to see u all soon hehe...esp LY..cos yday i jus told her wont cut short cos wan to do rebonding..but in the end its the other way round liao haha...so cya ard..

*mUaCkS..*

12:47 AM
Y Y Y

Character Analysis

Monday, June 20, 2005

Try this Analysis if u all have time...i tink its quite accurate...
Character Analysis

my result is...

You are the Grass Fragrance Type
You have very strong will, not dependent on others and gives an impression of being a lone-ranger. You are extremely curious and sensual, living a clear-headed, modern life. At first glance you place yourself on a pedestal, and are difficult to get along. But once others talk to you, they know you are easygoing. And when the relationship develops, they realise you are affable. You have an androgynous charm, which makes you popular with all genders. But you don’t like your weak side to be seen. You might look cool on the surface, but beneath it all, you are really Passionate. Only people who know your true self can maintain a long-lasting relationship with you.

12:43 PM
Y Y Y

Frenz!! ++ Updates!!

Sunday, June 19, 2005

"Actually i have finish writing the blog already but thn dunno wat happen i need to sign in again and everything is gone..haiz..using the recover post only recover half of it..i also cant really rem wat i had type at the last half but i guess wat i wanted to say had all being posted up here liao hehe...so pardon me ba..aft all looking at the time now..i doubt i can really rem any details cos i am freakinf tired liao...happie reading nitey all..."

Its been a long time since i really took a look at some of my frenz's friendster acct..and i happen to saw this grp of gers who are my GB juniors back in sec sch..reading the testi they left for each other and the picts they took tgt really touched my heart...they remind me of my seniors who are 1 yr older thn me..the bond bet the both grps(amg their own batch of ppl) is really very strong..although nt the entire batch but at least there is still a grp of them..i really envy them alot...this leads to me wondering..wat happen to my batch of ppl..its lyk none of us still meet up tgt for chilling or etc..nt to mention the bond..i doubt it ever exist...jus really miss the time whn we were in sec sch...whn the few of us still hang out tgt..but once we graduate..everyone jus get bz wif their stuff and forget abt one another..its kind of sad..but thn maybe thts jus life..meant to noe each other but nt meant to be super close frenz...hmm...maybe some day we will meet up again..but nt sure went..really wonder how each of them are doing now??...*sad*

anyway..in sec sch life i dun have many frenz tht will be v close besides amy..but at least i manage to find some ppl...whom i really luff them far too much..they practically seems to be the ones who are occupying the emptiness i had in me..(should i name them??..hmm..)..haha..maybe by initial ba..YT, Anny, LY, PP & Shir..they are really the ones who always stand by me wif all my probs..i will nvr forget my poly life wif them although only noe them for 2 yrs excluding shir & LY...yet all of them have brought alot of fun laughter into my dull life...i cant believe how i act spend my poly life w/o them..haha..all the nonsences, lame comments/jokes, study notes tht we share hehe..its really fun..*yeah*

i will be starting my sch again in a mth plus time...but thn i wonder if i will meet any more ppl who will caused a chg in my life or its going to remain as it is..hmmm..really a mystery leh hehe...this time ly yt and me will be studying tgt at SIM..hehe kind of looking forward to it aft all have been rotting for quite a long time(in terms of study nt wrking life ah!!)...*hehe*..but some how also afraid tht it will be quite tough haiz..*contradicting*

hopefully everything will goes on smoothly and nthing much will go haywire..besides the freaking eCR system which i need to use to create my time table..really super pissed off with tht freaking system...i cant set my timetable at all..aft emailing them and calling them nthing seems to be settled..haiz..this caused a delay in cfming the timetable tht ly and yt had set..cos during this wk frm last wed onwards the 3 of us have being meeting consecutively for 3 days jus to settle the SIM stuffs..sickening enuff..cos we had to go to diff places...haiz..seriously the 3 of us felt quite sian to run abt for 3 days settling uni stuffs haiz..its nt lyk we meet for 3 days to go shopping or wat so eva lor..hehe if thts the case i tink everything will be fine leh..hehe..anyway i hoep by mon i can settle the timetable..really worried now tht the time slot we plan initially will be removed/fulled..haiz..dun wish to be the caused for this and end up wif some shitty time table..it will really sux lor..*sianz*

as for today..i didnt really go anywhere except attend Jus's 21 Bday @ his place...but left quite early wif ly cos there is no other ppl i am really close wif over at his hse..although there are some of the poly frenz i noe..but thn they r also nt frm my class..hehe..so too bad i didnt have a chance to disturb him hehe..but nvm..haha..*bleahz*

and guess wat aft tht i went hme snd slack wif my sis until Dan sms me to see if i wan to meet up for coffee session haha...since its at bishan so i jus agree to it lor..and sometimes ppl are jus so funny..they lyk to look for u either whn u jus reach hme or busy haha..cos my dear anny also happen to sms me to chk where i am and the most coincidental thing is ..her sms is jus aft Dan's sms..hehe..*weird*..luckily they dunno each other..or else i really will wonder wat the 2 of them up to sia hehe..anyway we slack till 1230 thn head back hme..which is y i am updating my blog now..b4 anny start to leave msg saying i nvr update again hehe...*bleahz*

2:07 AM
Y Y Y

As requested by my DIE-HARD FAN>>ANNY

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Dear Diary (oops..siao liao haha...),

hmm..life have been quite okie only kind of tired cos wrking nite shift..thn every nite reach hme also ard 12 liao..wait till i fin bathing all this already near 1 thn can slp haiz..lyk tht i already can tahan liao..i cant imagine how the full timers can act stand frm 0830 until nite time..some even all the way until 12 plus 1 am lor..omg..and i realise normally only left our unit ppl staying until tht late lor..seems lyk we are the most busy wan..haiz..really admire them sia..

let me see since the 1st day...nthing much happen lor..till today i am still doing data entry but i tink my sp wans me to start on the stuff i am suppose to do wan liao..cos i tink they nt enuff ppl and all of them are bottle necked liao..kind of worried sia..cos i tink the thing they wan me to do is quite complicated also..hopefully i can get a hand on it soon...*pray hard*

hmm..as for noeing ppl..on the first few days was quite lonely..till today also lah..but thn wat to do they already noe each other so well liao..haiz..still feel kind of left out lor..but at least they can recognize me lah..haha..wont say lyk outside wont smile or anything..currently nthing much to complain also..the only thing tht i wan to complain is wrking at 6pm really damn sian..cos half of the day is gone liao thn tinking ppl end wrk thn u still need to drag urself all the way to office kind of sian lor..but whn reach there start to do thing is another thing liao..cos so far time really pass v fast..its jus lyk min adn sec jus flew past u..& i need to target myself to fin everything by 1045 lor..o/w i also dunno hw to go hme sia...

the 2nd whn i wrk until 1045..i still gt first bus to take until serangoon..but thn whn i am waiting for bus at serangoon..i almost went to take cab liao..cos 1145 liao and the bus i am suppose to take still nvr come lor..but in the end it came jus whn i had tht thot..thn frm tht nite onwards my latest timing to leave will be 1045 liao haha...so far aft wrking for the past 5 days(including sat) i tink everyday i also left at 1045 lor haha...excluding sat lah..cos sat i wrk frm morning to noon time ard 230 ah hehe..cos its consider OT mah hehe..so some how dun mind lah hehe..

lyk tml i will need to go in earlier ard 4..cos they need help urgently haha..so jus go lor..thts abt it ba..also nthing much liao..

but 1 very irritating thing is..why do everyone start looking for me only whn i start wrking hai yo..whn i nt wrking..nt a single soul come and look for me lor..sad sia..btw i will be wrking for my aunt's fren..starting at the end of june for 2 wks..frm 7am to 3 pm..and guess wat i tink mostly i will still be wrking for the nite shift wan..u mus be tinking i so crazy for wat rite..seriously i also dunno..i noe i will be damn tired..but i also dunno y i will make tht decision..partly its bcos of $$ ba haha..earn more thn at least whn go study nt tht bad..thn the other partly i tell myself..already waste nearly 3 mths rotting liao..so might as well make the full use b4 sch starts haha..siao liao lah..but thn i also kind of scared i will be damn blur thruout the whole wk lor..whaha..nvm..will see how thn hehe..thts a bt it liao...

time to slp liao nitey...*mUaCkS*

luv always, ("v")
pHyDaRlInG 'v'

12:21 AM
Y Y Y